The El Hortez Chronicles

There's probably nothing more stressful than losing your wallet two days before Christmas. Particularly when you have three pounds of pasta and a large vegetarian lasagna to make.

Am I the only one who feels that The Dark Knight isn't the masterpiece that everyone says it is? That the film is an hour and a half longer than it needs to be?

In the wake of this year's Black Friday, things look pretty grim. A Wal-Mart employee on Long Island died after being trampled by a stampede of 5 a.m. shoppers. Two people died at a California Toys R' Us when their rival gangs clashed over a toy. And then scenes like this are becoming all too common.

What the fuck has happened to us? When have we begin putting our lives on the line for the sake of saving $20 on an iPod Nano, or have our eyes gouged out for the last Xbox 360 at Wal-Mart? Is it worth it?

So I'm starting a movement, and it's somewhat counter-cultural. I will not buy a single thing on Black Friday ever again. Not gas. Not food. Nothing.

Who's with me?

With the stock market reaching the proverbial 50-year low, I'm dipping my toe in the waters of Wall Street. I signed up for a Charles Schwab account and intend on buying some bargain basement stocks, likely Ford (at $1.20 a share), Microsoft, Intel, Pfizer, and Netflix. It's an uncertain time, but as Warren Buffett said recently, "Now is the time to be greedy." So I'm being greedy and investing in the future because I want to eventually be semi-retired when I turn 75.

Anyway, I want to gauge what your experiences with the market have been. Have you lost your shirt? Are you driving a new BMW with your earnings?

Consider the toe dipped. Wish me luck!

I know it's a wee bit early for this kind of thing, but I want to just throw it out there, even if I don't really believe in resolutions.

My new year's resolution for 2009...is to be able to code an entire web page without having to rely on a "WYSIWYG" application (i.e. Adobe Dreamweaver).

Tall order? Definitely, considering that I'm still in my first semester of web design classes at RISD and haven't even covered HTML yet. I have been really digging my classes at RISD, and I don't think I've been as excited for an upcoming semester (winter semester) in my entire life. I'm taking an advertizing design class, a content management system class, and a Adobe Flash class. It's a good feeling to know that you're supplementing your experience with a new and exciting skill.

And it all ties into what I want to do for the next ten or twenty years. I want to start a business that develops web sites AND conducts public relations for non-profits and sustainable organizations. And I want to be able to run it from anywhere.

In other news:

-I've had five cups of green + white tea today, and my throat is a little sore from all the hot liquid I've been drinking.

-I'm wrapping up work on our bi-annual publication, which should be pretty decent. We've redesigned it with a more modern look, so it should be good.

-Life on the East Side has been pretty good to the crazyanimallady and I, although we haven't had much time with each other over the past few days because of late-night projects and alternating sleep schedules. I can't wait until tonight and this weekend to be with her.

-We've been going to the gym for the past month, and although I've been busting my ass every time I've gone, I'm only starting to see slight results now. Meh.

-Although the purchase of half-off halloween candy is a bit tempting, I've had enough sugar over the past week to kill a small horse. And I know that horses love sugar, but still.

The 1970s...were pretty fucked up.

...is the day after. Bad news, man!

So it's day two of the new job. I still haven't had a lot to do, but I'm meeting with the directors this afternoon and plan on hopefully coming up with some ideas for the Web site.

It's going to be a slow week.

I feel guilty because I haven't done anything, but that's usually the case at the first day of any job.

I'm sitting in my corner office, the first office I've ever had at any job, and I'm trying to make heads or tails out of everything I have. I don't have my own computer yet (I've been using my laptop). And I've got four more hours of twittling thumbs.

But I know the action will come. Soon. After all, they are paying me for this.

So the crazyanimallady is in Colorado, and I'm up here in Northampton for the next few days. I think I'll do some web design work for her dad and wrap up all the packing this weekend.

I can't tell you how stressful the move has been, even before I packed my first box. The crazyanimallady and I have been through a stress-induced emotional roller coaster for the past month, hoping that everything will go smoothly. Of course it won't — it never does.

But the concept of moving back home has me, in Dieter's words, "As gitty as a little girl."

Owning this would be the envy of the block.

Maybe it's the change of seasons, maybe it's the fact that I've been nursing a head cold all week...but I've been flat out exhausted lately.

I'm still at work and I have the strong urge to crawl under my desk and take a nap for the next three hours.

With the exception of last night, I've been in full-blown "mailing it in" territory. I just don't have the energy to do anything. A few people at work said they were sorry to see me go, but most have said good luck in future endeavors and left it at that. I hope nobody is planning a party for me. I just want to leave with a whimper and head off on that dusty trail.

My roommate said he's been looking for someone to fill my void, but he hasn't had much luck. He's also been selling his house for the last month, without any takers.

I bought an Xbox 360 on Wednesday, and have played it a total of three times since. I hope to log in more hours once the crazyanimallady and I settle down.

Nine more days.

I'm at the WFM cafeteria, sipping on an iced coffee and skinching some net while trying to get some web work done. A few tables over from me is an older guy in a wheelchair, accompanied by three women of various ages. Just from assumptions, they're either related or it's an assisted living arrangement.

Anyway, they bought the old man at the table an Odwalla Superfood drink, which is a bottled thick green smoothie mixed with various fruits and herbs. He's sipping it with a real sour look on his face.

"God, this is awful!" he proclaimed. "Do people really drink this crap?"

One woman at the table tried to reassure him that it's healthy and tasted like apples. He wasn't buying it. His sour face stayed that way throughout their lunch, even while chewing on his rosemary chicken.

As we grow old, this is what we have to look forward to. Perma-sour looks on our faces.

I just reserved a U-Haul truck for our big move on Sept. 1., which is also appropriately named Labor Day this year.

Luckily for the crazyanimallady and I, we have not one, but two big moves to make on one day. Both of our moves involve getting everything we own up two flights of stairs into our "treetop haven" on the East Side of Providence.

I would like to extend an invitation for everyone to join in on all the Labor Day fun. We're going to have pizza and beer (or soda) for everyone who can help us out. And as an added bonus, the crazyanimallady and I will also help you move. We're good at returning favors.

So let us know if you can help out, and we'll see you then!

I drove through a passing hail storm on the way to work. This is the second hail storm I've been through this summer. And prior to this year, I'd never been through one.

So how about that global warming?

Today I've decided to change things up a little bit. I'm mooching off the Stop & Shop Wi-Fi router instead of driving an additional few miles to hit up the WFM (Whole Foods Market) Wi-Fi router.

It's a different atmosphere. Instead of screaming kids whining about having to eat artichoke noodles, asparagus, and avocado rolls and their aloof, holier-than-thou parents sipping water from their Sigg bottles, I'm with the Dunkin' Donuts, early-bird special, scratch tickets for lunch crowd. The internet is a little slower, but it's a lot more comfortable.

I'm really bored. So I thought I'd share this fine example of mass transit with you:


I'm still thumbing around and waiting to hear back from CSW. Of course I'll be waiting until Friday (or Monday). Wish me luck again.

When I'm bored, I want to eat. And right now, I'm craving some white rice.

Mmmmmm...white rice.

Stan Winston died.

Celtics? Lakers? It's the mother fucking NBA Finals!

It's been three weeks since I effectively quit caffeine. I still have green tea from time to time, but my dependency for caffeinated beverages consisting of coffee are long gone. For the first two weeks, I was groggy, tired, moody, and felt the need for something to prop me up in the afternoon.

There are parts that I do miss, primarily espresso and the smell and taste of really good coffee. But I don't miss the headaches, the grogginess, or the need to arrange my plans around a coffee run.

Of course, three months from now I'll likely fall off the wagon. For now, I feel good though.

Hey guys,

Just like the title says, I'm having a birthday dinner party Saturday at 8 p.m. You are all invited.

Come join us in eating mushy and spicy Indian foods!